Untited

arachnids-arisen:

arachnids-arisen:

i mean dude

2013 even looks like a shitty number to me and it was a shitty year

2014 looks so much more appealing to me.

2014 is going to be a good year, i can feel it.

no words can explain how wrong i was.

hermionejg:

221cbakerstreet:

justdunsparcethings:

REMEMBER THAT PART IN THE ODYSSEY WHEN ODYSEUS TOLD POLYTHEMUS THE CYCLOPS HIS NAME WAS NOBODY AND THEN HE STABBED HIM IN THE EYE WITH A GIANT STICK AND HE STARTED SCREAMING AND THE OTHER CYCLOPS YELLED FROM THEIR CAVES AND ASKED WHAT WAS GOING ON AND POLYTHEMUS SAID THAT NOBODY HAS HURT HIM AND THEY WERE LIKE WELL THEN SHUT THE FUCK UP

golden comedy

But for real.

bogleech:

IF YOU DO NOT REBLOG THIS A SKELETON WILL SNEAK INTO YOUR HOUSE AND MAKE AN ELABORATE SANDWICH AND USE THE SAME EXACT KNIFE FOR EVERY CONDIMENT WITHOUT CLEANING IT OFF

If you are female, expressing hatred for your own body is not just acceptable, it’s practically de rigeur. Failure to indulge in the requisite amount of self-flagellation – my thighs! my skin! my face! – isn’t just negligent, it’s unfeminine. Self-hatred is fundamental to how femininity is constructed, more fundamental than any of the more obvious external symbols (dress, make-up, shoes). What matters is not that you are beautiful, but you know your place in the beauty hierarchy (and since every woman ages, every woman’s place will eventually be somewhere at the bottom).

Young women are encouraged to bond over their dislike of excess body hair, surplus flesh and “uneven” skin. They are meant to do so in a jovial way, egged on by perky adverts informing them what “real women” do: worry about having underarms beautiful enough for a sleeveless top, celebrate curves with apologetic booty shakes and cackle ruefully over miserable Sex-and-the-City-style lunches of Ryvita and Dulcolax. It’s a gendered ritual; men get football and booze, women get control pants and detoxes. We are supposed, of course, to be grateful. Hey, you don’t have to be perfect! Just know you’re not perfect and act accordingly, with the appropriate levels of guilt and shame!

Fairy tale after fairy tale tells us that what matters is being beautiful “on the inside” but what does that really mean? It means submission, obedience and the suppression of one’s own desires. Don’t be haughty and proud. Clean the hearth. Kiss the frog. Love the beast. Suck it up when you’re replaced by a younger model. Sure, you may look fine, but you mustn’t feel fine. You mustn’t be vain. You mustn’t be angry. All fury and pain must be turned back on itself. That way you’ll be a real princess: silent, fragile and never threatening to challenge the status quo.

casey-haunter:

hogwartsisbiggerontheinside:

somedonkusfromasgard:

greatleapsforward:

meowitsraygun:

meowitsraygun:

I’m gonna start an all girl punk band that sings really offensive songs like, “I don’t know how to tell you you’re bad at oral.”

Our second song is going to be called “My eyelashes are longer than your dick.”

id listen to you guys.

Another song could be “Christ will come before I do.”

Oh my god

I’m already a fan. I want merch.

official-sebastianstan:

Everyone Loves a Good Car Jam!!! - by Thomas Sanders

LITERALLY THE BEST PART IS YOU CAN SEE THE PURE SHOCK ON HIS FACE

It’s never, never, never the woman’s fault. No man has a right to raise a hand to a woman. No means no. […] The one regret I have is we call it domestic violence as if it’s a domesticated cat. It is the most vicious form of violence there is, because not only the physical scars are left, the psychological scars that are left. This whole culture for so long has put the onus on the woman. What were you wearing? What did you say? What did you do to provoke? That is never the appropriate question.
solluxfaptor:

christophool:

vorticity007:

supaslim:

Guys, let me tell you about orcas.
Orca whales are mean motherfuckers. They cruise the oceans with only two things in mind: one, having sex, and two, eating every poor fuck they find out there that’s smaller than them. They are such badass motherfuckers that even great white motherfucking sharks don’t dare fuck with them, which in my books, places them above the sperm whale as Biggest Badass of the Ocean. And why don’t sharks bother them, you may wonder? Because orcas fucking learned that if you flip a shark over they go into a sort of coma, so now they do it intentionally so they can eat the motherfucking sharks. Not only that, but orcas have also learned how to hunt sperm whales and motherfucking sea birds.
The orca whale lives in a matriarchal pod. Every pod has unique hunting methods and whatnot, which is passed down from parent to offspring- these scary fuckers have formed civilizations. And what do they do for fun, apart from hopping around on the water’s surface and grinning like crazy mofos? They hunt for fun, going so far as to tip over ice floes and beach themselves just for the thrill of killing.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. Orca whales are too damn cute and smiley looking to be heartless predators of the sea. Well, let me counter-argue with this photo:

THOSE ARE NOT THE TEETH OF A CREATURE THAT WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND.


Reblogging for excellent commentary.

I THOUGHT IT WAS PUSHING THE SEAL TO SAFETY ON THE SHORE. WTF MAN.

solluxfaptor:

christophool:

vorticity007:

supaslim:

Guys, let me tell you about orcas.

Orca whales are mean motherfuckers. They cruise the oceans with only two things in mind: one, having sex, and two, eating every poor fuck they find out there that’s smaller than them. They are such badass motherfuckers that even great white motherfucking sharks don’t dare fuck with them, which in my books, places them above the sperm whale as Biggest Badass of the Ocean. And why don’t sharks bother them, you may wonder? Because orcas fucking learned that if you flip a shark over they go into a sort of coma, so now they do it intentionally so they can eat the motherfucking sharks. Not only that, but orcas have also learned how to hunt sperm whales and motherfucking sea birds.

The orca whale lives in a matriarchal pod. Every pod has unique hunting methods and whatnot, which is passed down from parent to offspring- these scary fuckers have formed civilizations. And what do they do for fun, apart from hopping around on the water’s surface and grinning like crazy mofos? They hunt for fun, going so far as to tip over ice floes and beach themselves just for the thrill of killing.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Orca whales are too damn cute and smiley looking to be heartless predators of the sea. Well, let me counter-argue with this photo:

image

THOSE ARE NOT THE TEETH OF A CREATURE THAT WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND.

Reblogging for excellent commentary.

I THOUGHT IT WAS PUSHING THE SEAL TO SAFETY ON THE SHORE. WTF MAN.

azaras-spirit:

avatardream:

run-bassel:

but nope, we got a shit movie and shit games

^

I WOULD PLAY THE SHIT OUT OF THIS GAME 

holahydra:

i found a better tagline than "life is hard. death isn’t any easier"

image